Monday, 22 November 2010

the evolution of language

why do people feel the need to ruin the english languge soooo much by spelling words like 'later' l8r


Text speak is responsible for domestic violence, deforestation and mass suicides world wide. It is one of the worst things to happen to civilisation, let alone language. The premise of the concept itself is harmless, it's efficient and time saving. The brain dead, teeth sucking, ignorant douchebags intent on using this language are not harmless. They are ruining everything and they have already ruined what could have been an evolutionary phase for the English language. There would be no need for superheroes if these morons weren't so obnoxious to the beauty of the written word. But because of them, we do need superheroes. Lots of them. With weapons and a quite frankly unjustified hatred of people who don't write properly. Unless you're dyslexic, that's fine - I'm not a dyslexcist.

These droids of ignorance are also the reason for 'grammar nazis' - people who feel it is their God given destiny to protect language from the lazy, ignorant and stupid. Just how God supposedly exists to protect us from Satan. Satan in this scenario would be a text speaker. He would say things like 'bow 2 me, i am s8an. i luv hell, it is gr8.' God in this scenario would be a grammar nazi, he would say things like 'I am so sick and tired of you Satan. Didn't you go to school? Haven't you heard of grammar before? I doubt it. I am sick of you.'

Who the hell wants to bare witness to that back and forth? I don't. It's awful. Now imagine mortals having these terrible conversations. There's not even the intrigue of it being God and Satan anymore. The one benefit of text language being time efficient is rendered so unbefuckinglievably obsolete by the negative factors forcefully penetrated into this debate by the hollowed out, zombified masses that I want to punch a dictionary into a thesaurus and choke to death on the resulting dictathourus. Stupid people use text language. Ignorant people use text language. If you aren't stupid or ignorant, write properly. It's the written word, a man can read it and interpret it in whatever stupid voice he wants to, but for the love of freedom, architecture and late night poker write the words properly to begin with.

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